Married Leos

Today on my ride into work they were talking about women and farting.  Women were calling in talking about their embarrassing farting experiences.

There were a couple that did it on dates and a couple teachers that did it in class, then there was the flight attendant who during a flight told a new attendant that she was going to go “crop dusting”.     The new FA says “Did you say crop dusting?”  “Yep its a special service we offer the passengers”, as she walked down the aisle dragging the smell behind her.

I got a chat from a buddy of mine today asking how old a child should be to be left alone at home.  So I tell him it depends on how long it is for, if its just a few minutes, maybe 10.  If its going to be a few hours then probably 12 years old.

He proceeds to tell me that he got a call from a co workers WIFE that the cops were at her house, because they left their 8 year old kid home all day alone.

Me: Why did they call you?

Buddy: I don’t know

Me: Why did you go over there, I would have said forget it?

Buddy:  The police were going to press charges and take the kid away so I caved.

Me: Where was the father?

Buddy: Back at work.

Me: Why didn’t she call him?

Buddy: Don’t know, maybe she did but since he just got this promotion yesterday he was afraid to ask to leave.

Me: That’s bullshit, family comes first always, especially if its their kid.

Buddy: Yeah it is and they got a pretty wierd situation going on there anyway.

So my buddy ended up going over there and talking to the cops and called someone else to come look after the kid about 30 minutes later.  The father never did leave work early to find out about his kid.

Where was the mother you ask?  Well she was out of the state.   And apparently they had been leaving him alone for awhile and just now got caught.  I wonder who is watching the kid today.

This is probably toooo much information for some of you. Here is part of a chat I had this evening while I was in my “office”. Seems like today Hotfessional and I have had the same type of posts.

M—-: whatcha doin?

me: shitting

M—-: runny? or hard?

me: hard

M—-: is it one of those that when you wipe, nothing is on the tissue?

me: this time

yep

M—-: i like those

me: good kind

M—-: i have a laptop too now

so we can shit together

This weekend we had the pool installers come out and give us an estimate on how much it was going to cost to install our pool. This wouldn’t have been necessary if last year a different installer told us that it was going to be 12-$1500 to just install it, that was not including the $3000+ for the actual pool. We promptly canceled our pool last year after hearing that cost. This year we have the extra money but are hoping it will be a bit less, so off to buy another pool we went.

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I just cannot understand why I torment myself each and every day dealing with these idiots who call in for support. It has now taken me 20 minutes to get this guy to change his password. This is not fucking rocket science.

Step 1 - Put in User ID

Step 2 - Put in temp Password that I emailed you

You will be prompted to change your password

Step 3 - Again put in password I emailed

Step 4 - Type in your new password

Step 5 - Type that password in again to confirm

Step 6 - Click Login

Step 7 - Say Thank You, you are the best and hang up the phone

A child could do this, my mother who is the most technologically challenged person on Earth could do this.