After I finished putting together the cabinet / chest / table, whatever you wanna call it behind the girls, one of them wanted their picture taken. Guess Who? Twin 1 ( L ) is on the left and Twin 2 ( R ) is on the right. We didn’t intentionally name the girls with the initials L and R, as in left and right.
After I posted part I the other night, my daughter L was crying in the middle of the night. She said she was scarred because her dream was about our house on fire. I held her for a while to calm her down and told her the house was fine and to try to go back to sleep. Well I am sure that you all heard about the earthquake in California yesterday afternoon. My two older kids were out there, and even though they are ok I still wanted them home asap. I had turned on CNN for more news on it and they showed LAX airport and that although all flights were not canceled there was a water pipe that burst and they showed all the water on the floor, well right along with that I saw the area that had water damage was the United terminal in which my kids would be at this morning! It couldn’t be American Airlines, Southwest Airlines or even Quantas! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO it had to be United. I thought to myself is this yet another sign of something bad happening? Last night L started crying yet again and I asked her what was wrong and she replied “every time I close my eyes I see our house burning!”. I assured her that the house was fine and that nothing was going to happen. But hell I was freakin’ out because I do I know that something won’t happen as far as the house burning down? Was this yet another sign that maybe something will happen to the plane my kids will be on? GOD I hope not. Yes call me paranoid but just know that I was never like this until I had children. I hate feeling like this all the time but I can’t help it. The flight was delayed 30 minutes so far, I just hope they take off soon, and until they are in my arms I will be a mess!
My two older kids have been in California since July 18th, and I miss them terribly. I spoke to their aunt last night and she was telling me that ever since my eldest arrived in CA. she has been having dreams about tornadoes. It worried me a little because she has been having these every night, it must mean something, right? Well this morning when I woke up I was freaking out. Now I am not sure if my dream had anything to do with the conversation I had with the aunt but my dream was about an uncle who came to visit me and while we were in my kitchen talking, my eldest came into the house. I was surprised to see her and said “What are you doing home, you don’t come home for another two days”. She said ” I know mom but I just missed you so much I had to come home to see you, but I do have to go back to get my brother”. It was so creepy that I began to cry. When it comes to my kids I am over protective of them and I am just scarred that these dreams that we both have had mean something, and I strongly feel that it is not something good. I had bought a book about dreams once, have no clue what happened to it but it really didn’t help with the dreams I was having back then. I haven’t spoken to my son since my birthday (I am sure the main reason is his father not letting him call me), but I know that he is having a good time with his cousins. When I speak to my daughter she seems distant and I have asked her if she is ok and she responds “I’m fine”. What is a mother to do. I guess at this point I need to try and calm down and try not to think about these dreams in a negative way, it is easier said than done, and I will pray to GOD that he brings my babies back to me safe and sound. They come home this Wednesday and let me tell you that Wednesday isn’t coming fast enough for me.
Today is The Queens birthday, help me in wishing her a Happy Birthday.
Of course I have to start out by saying I love my mother, right? I mean I know that when it is time for her life to end I know that I will miss her, or will I? Ever since I was a little girl I would fight with her, we butted heads all the time. I am the eldest child and while one sibling who is out of sight and mind, she was the main reason I didn’t get along with our mother. She was the favorite, that is until my brother came along (ha ha ha). But even then no matter what I did with my life it just wasn’t good enough for my mother, she always had to (and still does) bitch about everything. I have actually thought of writing a book about my sad life as a child, I even have a title for it but whether I do or not who knows. She was the type who never thought her kids needed to know that she loved them, not until recently will she write “I love you”, so far she has yet to say it and I’ll be 43 in a few days. I cannot imagine any mother not telling her kids she loves them. When I was younger I swore that I would always tell my kids how much I love them, and I kept true to my promise. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t tell my kids I love them. The twins go as far as blowing me kisses when I pass them in the family room while they are watching TV, “I love you” is said hundreds of times a day in my house.
Right now the King and I are raising my brothers’ two children, ages 3 (no they are not twins, their mother doesn’t know how to keep her legs closed, my niece just turned 3 today and my nephew will turn 4 in 8 days). I had told both my parents when we first took in these kids that they were going to have to help me when I needed it, they said “oh no problem”. Damn I should have known better! My mother not only has a favorite child (WHICH IS SO WRONG!) she also has a favorite grandchild, well first it was the bad seeds first born but since the bad seed no longer associates with the family my mothers’ favorite is my brothers’ first born (my nephew). No one can tell this kid a thing when my mother is around, and it drives me CRAZY! I was brought up by parents who were so strict, amoung lots of rules one was that we had to eat all the food that was on our plates or else, this is one thing that I too enforce in my home, but for some reason when Mother Dearest is around my nephew doesn’t have to follow my rules and therefore she throws the food away. I have seen her do it tons of times and each time I blow up at her. How dare she come into my home and change my rules! And just for one grandchild. All of my kids know that their grandmother favorites my nephew and it drives them crazy, my 5 year old twins always make comments about it and it just infuriates me that she continues to do this. I told her that I would no longer need her help because she only makes things worse. However this past Friday I needed help because I had to take my two older kids to the airport and I was not about to take my 5 year old twins and the 3 year olds with me to the airport, that shit was just not happening. My in-laws couldn’t help because they are having work done in their home, so my last resort was asking my mother to come over.
You would think that by now she has learned to keep her mouth shut when it comes to me and my house rules, the kids have been with us for almost two years. But nnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooo, her little comments just piss me off, so once again I had to go off on her and I ended up taking the girls up to my room to watch tv, of course the one thing that I got from my mother is slamming doors, lol so of course to show her just how pissed off I was I slammed the door as hard as I could. I know that my niece and nephew have gone through a lot in their young years but they are here with us now, so there is no reason for people to feel sorry for these kids, they are better off with the King and I than with their whore of a mother who the family sees leaving town without her kids. I will really be surprised if she continues to stick around, she is one that never should have had children (she has 6 and none of them are with her). So I pray that I never have to call my mother again to come over to help with the kids, the King would have to put his foot up my ass if I even suggest it. And for the record I know I will miss my mother once she is gone, even though she has put me through hell throughout my life a mother is still a mother no matter what kind of mother she is.
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