I have been wanting to post this for awhile now, so at the request of our good friend XBox4NappyRash, I am posting the events leading up to and the day of my first date with the Queen.

I could make something up about it being a beautiful sunny day when I saw the most beautiful woman in the world and I fell instantly in love. But, thats not how it went. Not even close. Although she is the most beautiful woman in the world.

As I may or may not have said in some previous post the Queen and I met at work, we worked in different departments and started about the same time. She was a HOT Hispanic woman and I was the pasty white dork working in the computer department ( an obvious match made in heaven ), we never really had long meaningful conversations but we had known each other for about 8 years nonetheless. Her ex-husband ( AKA Asswipe ) actually bought me a drink at one of the office Christmas parties ( thats a whole other novel ).

Nuff of the particulars. A good ( lady ) friend of mine was getting married and I was in need of a date. For once, I actually had taken the balls out of my drawer and asked a young lady to be my date at the event. She was much younger than I was, of course she worked for the same company, this is relevant because for those who know me its the only female contact I would usually make. I even acquired her services as a date for another wedding a couple months later ( I must have put on the extra big balls that morning ).

As time closed in on the big event she told me she had to work that Saturday. Was she telling the truth? I wanna think she was but something tells me she had forgotten she agreed to go and was just being nice and letting me down easy. Now what was I going to do? Where am I going to find another ( single ) woman to go with me? When I went home and took the balls out of my drawer I noticed that they were single use only. Dammit!! I know, I will tell possibly my best friend at the time that I cannot go to her wedding. Guess what, that didn’t go to well. Her reply ” You BETTER be at my wedding “.

Fast forward a couple weeks of sweating. I am sitting in my office, actually it was a storage closet that we converted into my office. It was small but hey I had a door. Sitting in front of my keyboard I sent the Queen an email, exact wording is sketchy, but I have the basics below:

Me: “Hey would you like to do me a favor?”

Queen: “Depends on what it is.”

Me: “Would you to go to a wedding with me?”

Long pause

Queen: “I don’t know. When is it? ”

Me: “December 6th”

Now I am not sure if she actually answered me right away or if I had to wait a few days but she said “Yes”.

The day of our date she had me meet her at her friends house, she said she was loaning her friend the car for the day. I was thinking, she don’t trust me and don’t want me to know where she lives. I asked her about this and she denied it and still does to this day. : ) We had about a 90 minute drive from her house to the church and I would love to tell you that we had some great conversation, but it was more like listening to a cricket concert. I probably said less than 50 words the entire trip.

The reception came and things got MUCH better, we drank and danced all evening. WRONG!!! It was closer to another cricket concert, it was a good thing that we had another woman sitting at our table that we worked with to kinda help break up the silence. I think I got up from the table 2 times, once to dance with the bride, which was pretty awkward because when we went out there to dance noone else came out there. It was like we had gotten married and it was our first dance. The other time I got up was to take pictures with the woman we worked with that was sitting with us. She had the hots for me, all the single women at that company did, I was just to afraid of them to realize it. Well I might be exagerating abit about them ALL wanting me but I did find out later that she did. I never even took the Queen out there to dance, but remember I am a white boy and white boys have zero rhythm so she was better off not being subjected to that embarrasing scene.

I don’t remember anything about the ride home but I am sure it was an encore of the cricket concert we heard on the way there.

So there it is, our first date, pretty exciting stuff, I know. I bet all you ladies would love to have a first date like that. ; ) It truly is amazing that I actually got a second date after that.