When The Boy was about 5 he comes running into the house and we ask him what was wrong , he says, ” There’s a big fucking bee out there ” . Of course my head snaps around ( probably when I got this whiplash ) and tell him you cannot say that, its a bad word. We then proceed to turn away from him so he cannot see us laughing. Although it was wrong, it was still funny coming from a 5 year olds mouth.
Our first breakfast together came on day we were stranded in the Queens house for 2 days in 1998, as described by my previous post. To fully appreciate this you need to remember that I am Polish/Italian and the Queen is Mexican.
She asked me if I wanted chorizo and eggs, of course I asked “what’s that?”. She said its Mexican sausage. Well my mother used to make italian sauage and scrambled eggs before and I enjoyed it, so why not.
When I have had sausage and eggs in the past it was made by frying up pieces of italian sausage and then putting them into scrambled eggs. So basically it was chunks of sausage in scrambled eggs.
Now for the culture shock. The Queen brings me my breakfast and it looks nothing like what I expected. And where’s my fork?
What I had on my plate looked like some mashed up sausage with barely any type of egg showing and a couple tortillas. I probably looked like a deer in the headlights staring at my plate trying to figure out how I was going to eat this. So I did what every confused white boy would do, I asked for a fork. Of course the Queen laughed at me and said that’s what the tortillas are for and like a little kid she had show me how to eat it ( hangs head in shame ). After the lesson in eating, I did enjoy it. It was spicier than I thought it would be, which is alright since I like spicy food.
10 years later I am a semi-pro at eating with a tortilla and we have chorizo almost every weekend for for breakfast. Now we normally have it with beans instead of the eggs, unless the kids are eating then sometimes the Queen will either make it with beans for us and eggs for the kids.
It really must be me, I thought people just were not good listeners but it seems as though they just don’t listen to ME. First it’s all the people I talk to all day on the phone at work and now yesterday the mother of a friend of the Big One.
If you don’t live in the Midwest you may not know about the winter storm that blew through here yesterday. The worst driving conditions I have EVER driven in. I had to go out around 8:15pm to pick up the Big One and her friend at work about 2 miles away, going there was not tooo bad, atleast I could see the bad roads. Coming home I was not able to even see the front of the car for most of the way home. I was doing 10 mph pretty much the entire way on the straight path home, if there had been any curves in the road it would have been impossible to get home. We saw atleast cars in the ditch.
The Big One’s friend called her mother from the car to let her know it was impossible to drive in this and she was going to stay at our house. Well she flipped out about it and said that when her dad got home he would come and get her. About 5 minutes after we had gotten home her phone rings and its her mother complaining that she cannot get to our house, that there are cars all over the road and that if she finds a place she is going to turn around and go back home. Mind you there was no remorse in her voice for having attitude about the earlier call, no, it was the same pissed off tone she had earlier, like it was her daughter’s fault it was a fucking white out.
So if I ever give you advice and you decide not to listen to me it’s ok because, noone seems to listen to me.
I always wondered why I feel really tired in the mornings, and why I look like shit, with bags under my eyes. Well after 9 years of this crap I found the reason why last night. It is because the King snores like a freakin’ locomotive! MY GOD MAN!! I don’t see how anyone could sleep through that noise! He gets mad when I roll him over because I wake him up, well dude I can’t sleep. So lately I have tried not to roll him over seeing that he does have to wake up at 3:30 in the morning for work. Yesterday I wanted to put a pillow over his face, but thought with my luck he would suffocate, I guess what I need is a bigger house with an extra bedroom so that I can call that my paradise room.
I bought him those strip things to put across his nose but that didn’t work, and he has the nerve to tease me and give me crap about taking a nap (not naps) during the day, I am only trying to catch up on my sleep.
When these people call in for support with a problem uploading their information, I have them go to their internet options and tell them and I quote:
” Go down the list and ENABLE EVERYTHING “
I think it is pretty clear what I want them to do, so why is it that they have to ask “should I enable this” every time they come to something that is not already enabled?
